Success is up to you

Many times we give up on ourselves before we even begin to try something. Is it because we are afraid of failure, the way people will think of us, or we just flat out tell ourselves we can’t do it? I, personally, know the feeling of being scared of failure.

I am 18 years old and have recently been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). This causes me to seek reassurance for any decisions that I make. I have had to leave high school two years ago and find another way to graduate through home schooling and adult education classes. I have been unsuccessful with jobs that require socialization and have few realtionships with people because of my weak confidence from the OCD. For most of my life, I have felt that anything I did was not successful or that I was failing at everything I tried. I felt continual personal guilt for something I had no control over.

About a year ago, I made another important decision. I decided to try fitness and attend a gym regularly with the encouragement of my father. I started at a gym just to get me out of the house for part of the day. In January 2015, I was 5’7″ and 230 lbs. At that time, I was feeling completely destroyed inside. I had nothing to lose and decided to sign up for a gym membership. I was extremely frightened by the exercise and dieting because I was afraid of another means for failure. Nor did I know if i would be able to reach my goals to lose any weight at all. I had no plan nor idea of an exercise routine or nutrition regimen, however, a couple weeks later, I found myself on the internet learning and teaching myself exercises and weight loss strategies. Then to my amazement two months later, I recognized that I had lost 20 lbs. That exact moment was the beginning of completley changing myself mentally and physically. I was only getting started! It is now exactly a year later, and I have lost 70 lbs and getting stronger every day.

Not only have I become knowledgeable about fitness, but I have learned so much more about myself. I learned for the first time ever that I could control the out comes of my decisions. I controlled my own success! I made it happen! This was a break through for me. I soon recognized that my story could help someone else relate to the same feelings and experiences and would apply to the everyday person. Many times in life we have given up on ourselves before we even begin trying! Do not talk yourself out of reaching your goals because you think you can’t, or your have failed before so you are scared to try again. There are no such things as failures in life because your failures can make you one step closer to success and you learn from your mistakes. If you fail at something you need to try again because this time you might succeed. I wish I would have known this all the years I have been feeling guilty for my failures. If you look at your past, you can connect all the dots. Each decision you made in the past had a purpose. We can’t connect the dots of the future, but we need to trust ourselves all the dots will make sense later on!

-Nick Allington

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